This past week has been nice. We’ve been able to slow down a bit, and I’m glad we did because the first week after having gone basically “pedal to the metal” the minute we arrived was a lot to take in. I’m not sure if it distracted my culture shock or just emphasized it, but then again, I still don’t feel like I’m having many problems taking things in other than the occasional worries. I really love it here; the people, the food, the architecture, the vegetation, the temples… the list goes on. Although, I do realize that I have a lot of trouble remembering the names of things, like types of food other than paneer and dosas (my favorites… so it makes sense why I remember them!).
I have a few worries, though, because I want to make the best of this trip. I find myself worrying about whether or not I’m being respectful because the last thing I want to do is make a bad impression on these people or Krishnayya. I also find myself worrying if I’m cultured enough to understand how to be respectful, and if, because of that, they feel embarrassed of me… I mean, before this I hadn’t been outside the United States besides visiting the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, or even been past Tennessee to the west. I know they don’t feel that way, but I still worry. I’m young and there’s much to learn, but it’s hard to ignore the lack of ties I have to this place, unlike everyone else. Krishnayya lives here, professor was born and raised here, Kymberly’s husband is Indian (so she’s an in-law to the country), and I’m the odd one out. I understand that it’s just how it is and that’s totally fine. I’m not envious nor sad nor frustrated nor angry because of it. It’s just an odd feeling because I know the least about the culture but still I strive to play a role and be a part of the conversation while simultaneously feeling that maybe it’s not my place.
I know, though, when the astrologist came to speak to us a while back, he essentially said that if we’re here then we were meant to be here. He emphasized that we were once born in India, and now this is us coming full circle to be a part of India once again. In a way he said everything is predestined, and that destiny brought us here together because we’re all connected. It was welcoming, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling out of place; it’s natural.
My last post hadn’t yet discussed my experience in the temples we’ve visited, and temple visiting has been prominent during this trip so far, so here’s my attempt to sum it up. If I were to try to count how many we’ve visited in total since we’ve arrived, I’d say about seven or eight. If I were to try and count how many temples exist in India, imagine the amount of subways we have in the United States, and multiply it by three (and there will still most likely be more). I was going to say McDonalds, but apparently Subway is ranked number one as the most populous fast food chain in the United states, for which I had no idea. Temples range in size from enormous towering structures on the tops of mountains to closet-sized places of worship on the side of the road. The accessibility of these shrines for refuge or clarity or peace is just simply beautiful. Anyways, the first temple we went to was the Simhachalam Temple, a beautiful Hindu sanctuary on the top of a mountain dedicated to the deity Vishnu, and is worshipped there in his form as Varaha Narasimha. Varaha Narasimha is known to have the head of a lion, two hands with claws, and a human torso, who is typically represented with a demon in his lap whom he is in the process of killing.
To preface this, Lord Vishnu is one of the three supreme beings in Hinduism and is a preserver god who protects the universe, keeping it from being destroyed (take this with a grain of salt because I may understand this wrong). He has come to earth in nine different forms, or avatars (and has one to come in the future), and Varaha Narasimha is one of his forms. From what I heard and from what I can find online (so pardon any misinformation by me) there were two brother demons. One was killed by Vishnu, and the other demon hated him for it, so that demon gained special powers. He made sure that he could not be killed day or night, inside or outside, by weapon, man, or animal. These new powers allowed him to create chaos and he persecuted all devotees of Vishnu. However, Vishnu understood the power that the demon held and adopted a new form of a mixed avatar that is neither man nor animal. This gave him the ability to kill the demon at the junction of day and night, inside and outside, and so he did. This deity is known to specifically defend his devotees from evil, and the temple is a very popular sight for the people nearby.
As my first temple, it was a wonderful experience. Thankfully Krishnayya has friends in high places because he was able to get us special treatment so we’d be able to skip the line. Some days, they told us, people will wait all day to see the deity and have their families and loved ones blessed. It was stunning walking into the temple. There were ornate carvings littered across the walls of different important deities in a number of relaxed and posed positions. Krishnayya didn’t hesitate to point out a spot they missed when they tried to get rid of all the erotic depictions in the temple. He said he was a dirty man, and I laughed. The deep history I found thoroughly fascinating and impressive, and I could feel the emotion within the temple walls interlacing its way around and within me. What a sight. What a feeling.
After a while I was beginning to get more comfortable with the prospect of going to temples, knowing what to expect and what to do once we got to the priests. I’m not a wiz on it all just yet, but after having ignorantly stood directly in front of the deities (essentially completely blocking them from sight), I now remember to stand at the side because other people wish to look upon their gods and pray to them. Considering we had VIP access, which allowed us to get very close to the gods, and others were closed off by gate, which only allowed to look from afar, that was very rude of me at first. However, I didn’t realize I was doing it until they asked me to move to the side, which I immediately did. This whole process is very different from anything I was familiar with after having grown up with Lutheran Christian ties.
My most shameful temple moment thus far is as follows. I knew before I arrived that using my left hand to touch anything, especially having to do with the gods, was looked down upon (since the left hand is the one a person wipes their booty with… One must not hand money to someone with that hand nor eat nor touch someone with that hand because it’s inappropriate and gross), but I did it anyways by accident. I touched the foods that were to be blessed by the god with my left dang hand. I could distinctly see and feel the disgust on their faces. It was really just this one man who worked in the temple, but I was horrified. Most people understand that I’m foreign so I’m not used to the customs just yet, but I still felt terrible. I’m sure most of the people saw the pure horror in my expression as I realized what I’d done. In my disarray, I immediately apologized to the people around me and to the god in prayer, if they were there listening. I won’t be doing that again, now that I’m scarred for life. Here’s to hoping that any bad voodoo on my plate has been washed away; I would never want to offend a god! Although since then, my entire family and I have been blessed so many times, maybe it was forgiven and forgotten. I sure hope so.
Anyways, moving on to this past week’s events. After Kymberly and I got back (her from Gujarat and me from Rajahmundry) we both weren’t feeling too great. I was (and still am) having some sharp sporadic pains in my torso area, and Kymberly was suffering from minor heat exhaustion. Although, don’t worry because she’s feeling much better after taking two restful days to drink water and stay out of the heat. A lot of my problem, I think, is not drinking enough water and pepto bismol, so I’m going to start on that pronto. I tried taking a laxative because my abdominal almost feels as if there’s trapped gas, but after the pain of that experience, count me out! As I already have to suffer through my moon-cycle every month, I would never willingly take laxatives again because it feels like terrible cramps.
We went to a fisher’s village the other day, once Kymberly and I felt recouped enough to get out of the hotel room, and Krishnayya informed us about how these people were more matriarchal than patriarchal. So essentially, it was my kinda town because women had big mouths and didn’t take no heat from no man! I always jokingly say how I plan on finding my Indian prince during this trip so then I’ll be indefinitely transported and escorted by elephant, so Krishnayya took us here on that whim. He knew my father loved to fish and essentially said that I could just pick a man off the streets if I wanted to because of my fishing ties.
We made it to the town and met some family friends of Krishnayya and Sailaja, and then we found ourselves walking along the shore. Little did we realize as we walked across the beach towards the fishing boats that it was a man’s world down there. Very little women found their way to that area, and it was plainly obvious by the intense stares, yells, and gawking. However, what I found ultimately jaw-dropping was the number of boats that were littered across the shore and sea, they were magnificent. Each boat was painted with a different combination of colors, like each house on the street. There were probably over 200 in number, and as we walked further, there were likely more. It was beautiful, other than needing to avoid stepping in animal waste and piled up trash every now and then. Our group kept on, and we gradually approached a little boy squatting, with his pants down, by the ocean. I had to double-take, but it was then that we both realized that the poop littered across the sand was not animal waste as I had previously assumed, but human feces. What a sight. What a revelation. What a way to conclude our day. Good thing Kymberly had only stepped in it and not me!
The next day we visited an ashram, and this was probably by far one of the more fascinating trips. We were able to avoid going out in the streets on display for all, and instead talk with someone about their profession and what they teach in a less public manner. The man we were privileged to meet was the guru of the ashram himself. Although, I was disappointed to have learned only once we got there that we were going to speak with him because I would have prepared some questions! It was nerve-racking to say the least and I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way, but Krishnayya always has a way to break the ice with his charismatic exchange and humor. The guru explained some things about what he does, such as teaching yoga and practicing meditation. People will come from around the world to study yoga, and the best place to do it is here, in India. I have no doubt about that!
I was curious about their perspectives on westernized yoga. Were they favorable of the spread of the knowledge and practice of yoga (getting the word of yoga out to the masses so more people may find interest in the original practice), or is the take on the contemporary western yoga training too mistaken to be truly supported by the guru (if you’re doing it wrong then don’t do it at all)? Some Americanized/westernized versions have lost the true meaning behind the practice; the spirituality. They clarified that its practice has become more of a form of exercise than a honing of oneself. I think they realize that they can’t do anything about its contemporary spread but also don’t condone it. Kymberly proceeded to point out goat yoga and couple’s yoga as the westernized yoga platforms they have in the United States, which is really a lot different from anything here. Yoga must be at a certain temperature, it must be quiet, and it must be inside the ashram. How interesting.
Today is the start of the weekend and I thoroughly look forward to it. For those family and friends reading this, I’m thinking of you and love you dearly, but I’ll be back in four weeks so don’t fret.
Kari
The Real India: Dubbed in Telugu 